To Age Successfully, Age Actively : Life Review

Part I 

Dr. Pudupakkam Vedanthan is a physician, lecturer, founder of a non-profit organization, beginner tabla player, traveler, yoga practitioner, and one of the most positive and fulfilled individuals I have ever met. Dr. PK, as he is fondly known, was born in “Mysore, 80 miles from Bangalore” in Karnataka. He “was born in 1947” which made him 70 years old at the time of our interview. His “family has been in Mysore since 1938,” when his grandfather settled there. He grew up as the youngest child in a joint family home that was “like a zoo,” with his grandparents on his father’s side, his parents, five siblings, a host of family servants, four dogs, one cat, and 36 pigeons. His “father was a physician” and “that was an unique relationship” because he “became [his father’s] personal assistant in middle school” a role that exposed [him] to [that] environment” and “helped [him] learn multitasking.” His “mother was easygoing.” They “never saw her getting mad” and “her way of handling things was total acceptance.” When asked about the difference in his relationship with his parents, Dr.PK laughed and said, “We were more afraid of him. We were never afraid of our mother. She was afraid of us.” With his father being a “workaholic”, his mother mostly tending to the house, and his grandmother passing away “when [he] was five,” their “grandfather was much responsible for [his] upbringing” and was quite the disciplinarian.“He would wake [them] up at 5AM everyday” and start the day with yoga. When describing the difficulty of his grandfather's yoga teachings, Dr. PK claimed, “I would stand on my head for 10 minutes; My grandfather would stand on his head for 45 minutes.” At “6 o'clock in the morning [they] would have tuition, have breakfast, then more tuition until 9:30, half an hour free time … and then leave for school.” They “had so much tuition, [they] never paid attention to what was taught in the school.” Luckily, in the “evenings [they] would be free to play.” Him and his “brothers would play cricket” and they “would be on the street more than in the house.” “It was a fun life,” but it was not without hardship. Although they “were definitely much better placed than many people around [them] at that time; India was not an easy place”. “The pay scales were extremely extremely low...at that time it was not easy to get even milk” and their “house was the only one with a telephone in the whole area.” They had “a car and also a...motorbike,” but to get them they had “to apply and wait eight years” because they were not commercially sold. When Dr.PK “was two years old [he] had polio” and “still even now [he has] a limp” and “on the right side [he] has to drag his foot a little bit. “At that time, [they] had no immunizations,” and used informal preventative treatments or “were naturally immunized.” For Dr.PK however, true wealth and health “depends upon how much of love there is in a family.”

Dr.PK’s elementary, secondary, and medical “education [was] all in Mysore”. In the beginning of his life he was an average student with behavior far away from exemplary. His earliest distinct childhood memory is “getting in trouble for stealing toys” in the first grade. He “was under the impression that whatever toy [he was playing with in the school belongs to [him]” and he “used to take a bag and fill up the bag”  with toys to bring back home. “In middle school [he] attended a convent” and as a teenager he attended a “boys-only government high school”, thus explaining why he felt that “at that time it was not easy for a boy to talk to a girl.”  His “academic career was good but it got better” when he “was punished by a very favorite teacher of mine.” “That punishment hurt [him] and actually changed [his] whole academic career,” and became “much more serious and less mischievous” as a result. Following that incident, he “actually excelled in academics.” Dr.PK received “gold medals in medical school” and a “national merit scholarship” in India. He went to medical school “with the intention of becoming a physician” but “the times were such that … the real-life situation is very different from what happens when you are a student.” “Once [he] passed out and applied for jobs, [he] did not get the job [he] really would’ve liked.” This was due to “what we call as caste system.” As “high-caste brahmins” the”highly discriminatory” reservation system was stacked against them, with all “the good positions...basically barred for [them].”  Thus, he “applied for a government-service job” instead and worked as a “lecturer in pathology in the same medical school where [he] passed out from” for about a year and a half. This was a major disappointment, considering that he “wanted to be a physician” and “pathology was a non-clinical subject.” Later he “applied for a post graduate position in New Delhi for the All India Institute of Medical Sciences” and made it to the interview process. Unfortunately, before the interview he “got involved in a minor accident on [his] motorbike, so [he] could not take the flight, so [he] missed the interview.” His elder brother who was already in the US suggested that he come to America instead. He took the “entrance exam to go the US” called the Educational Council for Foreign Medical Graduates and passed. The US would become a place of hope and would alter his life-course completely.

 Before he went to the US, he rather quickly had another milestone in his life: marriage. Rather poetically, he had seen his future wife Kamala “for the first time when she was singing at a wedding” a year earlier. He jokes, “I spoke to her for two minutes and after another year I spoke to her for another three minutes.” Kamala “comes from a much different background, she was from a conservative family, much more religious.” “Her family is also a large family” but “socioeconomically a little bit lower.” “But many other ways they were much higher.” There was “a lot of culture in that family, from art to dance to music...and the other thing was responsibility: domestic responsibility.” “She had an inbuilt domestic responsibility because of their need” and “she knew how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of the household, how to run the place, even when she was very very young.” In this manner, Dr. PK saw “all her positives” and had clearly taken an interest in her. He “selected this lady, because she met [his] formula.” Luckily, his “family was open,” more than was usual for Indian families of that time. “Nothing was arranged, nothing was forced,” on him and he “could openly tell [his] father.” First he “went to their house and directly approached [his] father-in-law and told him that [he] would like to marry [his] daughter.” His father-in-law “was shocked” but was impressed by his job and background. Dr.PK then told his father, “This is what I have done. What do you think?” His father said “Good, invite them to our house.” After making preparations, he “arranged for [his future in-laws] to come” to his house for a traditional marriage proposal meeting between the two families. “During a marriage proposal at that time, it was common at that time for a girl to be asked to sing.” As a classically trained singer, Kamala “sang beautifully.” “Immediately [his] sisters-in-law raised their thumb and said to go for her.” The two families agreed and the wedding occurred soon after.

At the age of 24, Dr. PK “came to Rhode Island in 1971...because [he] thought there would be better opportunity.” His “impression of the US was mostly reading a few books and watching a few movies....rather than facts...so when [he] came here it was a shock” to him. Based on these false impressions he “thought in America nobody worked, and they would all be driving around in convertible cars, they would have a girlfriend, and they would always have a good time.” “When [he] came here it was totally different.” Dr.PK says, “Here you have to work very hard, the conditions could be very harsh, and definitely there was no convertible at that time for me.” His “wife was a little more uncomfortable than [he]  was.” They “came in february to Rhode Island- which was very very cold” and “she saw snow for the first time in her life.” When they first came to the country, they stayed with his brother and sister-in-law so his “wife did not feel that bored.” When I asked how he kept in touch with Indian culture after moving to the States, he burst out laughing and said, “that is a million-dollar question!” “The East is very different” and “the only way you can feel comfortable and accept this cultural shock is to be having that adjustable nature.” In spite of the differences, Dr. PK thinks ‘there are many many good things in the Western culture.” “What [they] learnt here was something unique and it was an enjoyable adventure for [them].” “In hindsight,” Dr.PK thinks “the system here is better in many ways because you take care of yourself and are responsible for your own life”.

The next big milestone of Dr.PK’s life was having children. Rajesh, the older sibling, has two children and is now settled in New York. Ranjani, younger by two years, is currently unmarried. He describes his parenting style as “usually much more easygoing,” while his “wife is stricter.” To him this was a good balance, “because if both are strict, the child will go bananas.” “It’s very important to get that balance and that is what she was able to contribute to the children.” Dr.PK and his wife thought they “had a good relationship with [their children] all the time.” However, “one day, [Dr.PK and his children] were driving with a close friend and his children in the backseat.” They overheard the children complaining about their parents actions. Dr.PK and his friend talked about changing their “methodology” of parenting so the “children talked more and [they] listened for a change.” The two families started a “Positive Power Group” in which the four children and the parents met once a month and had an open, honest discussion. Their “children were not afraid” and “would openly tell [them]” things that “other parents would hate to hear.”  “What [he] learnt through this whole thing was open relationships” with his children that reflected Dr.PK’s honest relationships with his own parents.

While navigating life in a new country and starting a family of his own, Dr,PK also made a mark in his professional life. In Rhode Island he “did a straight medical internship and then two years of pediatrics.” His biggest hardship was a brief period of unemployment he faced when “[he] could not get into any fellowship.” For the sake of a job, he “joined an allergy asthma group in Lin, Massachusetts.” Six weeks later, “the manager called [him] and said [he] was fired.” When Dr.PK asked about the reason for his firing, the manager said, “You smell differently - that’s why I’m firing you”. Dr.PK quickly discovered that the institution had a history of discrimination and racism but he still “needed a job badly.” He found work doing the “tedious job of insurance physicals’ that required you to go “from town to town and conduct examinations for patients.” His wife was “incredibly supportive” and “made a picnic” out of Dr.PK’s otherwise sluggish work schedule. The “biggest breakthrough in his life” came when one of his colleagues from the place where he was fired from called him. Dr.PK humorously says, “the Almighty came to me in the form of this Jewish guy” who told him about a fellowship opening in Denver. He got the fellowship, but this required relocating from Rhode Island to “ the National Asthma Center” in Denver. During his fellowship, “ [his wife] was a research assistant in his lab.” After the fellowship, he “moved up north to Fort Collins and that is where [he] has been since ‘76.” He was “busy establishing [himself] in private practice for … about 10 years before [he] started doing international work” in 1987. His inspiration for the International Asthma Foundation was the time he spent in India every year. “During those visits, we would have lots of requests from friends” regarding volunteer work. Dr.PK obliged initially, but soon “wanted to do it in a more organized way” and started “asthma camps” that provide medical services for vulnerable populations. This project expanded rather quickly all over India, and “later branched into other countries.” “Right from day one, [his wife] was involved in these camps.” This foundation became deeply personal and was a major source of fulfillment. When there were difficulties in the demanding field of medicine, Dr.PK drew on the strength that philanthropy gave him.

Dr.PK doesn’t like the word retirement because “[he] is not tired yet.” However, it is clear that this transition has allowed him to try new things, build upon life-long habits, and spend time with family. His “home was always filled with music and art.” Gradually, “[he] got into the tabla,” an indian drum-like instrument, and “started taking lessons.” He believes that he “is not an accomplished tabla player” and mainly plays for his “wife while she sings”. He has also “recently started playing the morching”, a small mouth instrument. When “[he] goes to Mysore now…[he] meets [his] morching and tabla teachers every week.” Dr.PK has also started “classical carnatic music,” following in the footsteps of his wife. He and his wife “do a lot of travel in exotic places,” including “Antarctica and different parts of Africa.” He continues “jogging...for personal physical fitness” and “does swimming everyday.” Everyday he continues the yoga routine he has followed since the age of five and he comments that, “I almost forgot to mention it because for me, yoga is like brushing my teeth.” Currently, Dr.PK “has no major aspirations” but would like to enjoy life with [his] family, grandchildren, and try to maintain good health.”

 Dr.PK advises our generation to “be bold and be positive.” He reflects that the quality that has set him apart is his “risk-taking nature.” When looking back at a life filled with these incredible risks and resulting successes, Dr.PK surprisingly says that the thing he is most proud of is how well he took care of his mother before she passed away. He is happy that he had “the opportunity to take care of her” in return for all she had done for him. In this manner, Dr. Pudupakkam Vedanthan lives life to the fullest with incredible bravery, optimism, and passion but always finds happiness in the little things. 

Part II

I met Dr.PK three years ago through a family friend. I was looking for scientific journal writing experience and a friend of my mother had worked with Dr.PK and thought that his work in asthma would be an incredible opportunity for me to be involved in research. I contacted him through email, got in touch with one of his mentees - a graduate student named Phuong Dinh, and started working on drafting and analyzing data for the Champ Camp Study. Phoung was analyzing the effect of the Champ Camp, a summer program for children with asthma, on their ability to manage and understand their condition. Dr.PK was incredibly approachable when we were in need of guidance but also had a hands-off approach that allowed us to grow and learn. I began to consider him to be a valuable mentor who I can turn to at any point in my academic career and he has continued his guidance to this day. When I asked him if I could interview him he readily agreed. Over Thanksgiving break, I interviewed him for two hours over a video call. His daughter was by his side: helping him with the technology and making sure he was comfortable. While I was in my home in Dallas, Texas, he was in his house in Fort Collins, Colorado. 

As an involved, engaged, and positive individual who has continued to grow and learn as an elder, Dr. PK best exemplifies the activity theory of aging. The activity theory defines successful aging as an extension of middle age, in which elders maintain aspects of their identity, experience personal growth, and engage socially. (Hooyman & Kiyak, 2018). 

Maintaining aspects of one’s identity into old age allows individuals to keep their self-concept intact and encourages active aging (Knapp,97). It is clear that Dr.PK does this, and is happier because of it. Continuing the discipline of his grandfather in early childhood, Dr.PK maintains his commitment to yoga to this day. He starts the day with the same yoga routine that he has done for the past 65 years. This daily practice ensures physical stamina and flexibility as well as inner peace and mental wellness. It also ties him back to his cultural roots and ensures that the lessons of his childhood are not forgotten in the midst of the vastly different culture he now lives in.His love of medicine started from an observation of his father’s work from a young age. Even in retirement, he continues advising medical students at the University of Colorado, doing volunteering physician work, and overseeing projects in the International Asthma Foundation. The continuation of his primary professional work helps him maintain connection with colleagues and workplace acquaintances and lessens the social consequences that often come with retirement. For approximately the last 40 years, he has continued to be at the same place of residence in Fort Collins, Colorado. He is clearly accustomed to the weather, has a sense of familiarity in the community, and has a network of neighbors to rely on. Often, changing residence later in life disturbs an elder’s daily routine and social ties, while aging in place allows the elder to adapt easily to increasing person-environment stress in later life.

Personal growth allows elders to have a sense of purpose and challenge themselves in order to age actively (Hoyt,80). To age successfully, the later life period should not be a stagnant part of one’s life but instead be a valuable and exciting period of change and adaptation. Music had always been around Dr. PK, but he had never actively engaged in the art himself. At the age of 70, he is learning carnatic singing, tabla, and the morching. Undertaking these challenges allows him to tap into a talent that he may have otherwise no known he had. As for the International Asthma Foundation, Dr.PK wants to start a center of excellence program for asthma training in India. Thus, as a philanthropist, he is using his retirement period to consolidate training and educational programs that ensure the continuation of asthma awareness in India past his time. By looking to the future and wishing to expand an already large and successful organization, Dr.PK demonstrates a never-ending quest for new accomplishments. Unlike many elders who shy away from technology use, Dr.PK shows excitement towards using technology in new ways. Our interview was his first video call ever. Even with his daughter there to guide him, he demonstrated a will to do learn how to do it on his own and expressed an interest in using this means of communication again.

Lasting personal relationships and social engagement ensures that elders feel supported in a period of often tumultuous transitions and encourages an active aging mindset (Hoyt,80). In a life stage characterized by a loss of relationships, building upon existing relationships and actively seeking companionship can make all the difference in one’s happiness. Unlike other individuals who may disengage from relationships altogether, Dr.PK prioritizes family and friends. In this phase of his life, Dr.PK has dedicated more time than ever to spending time with his wife, checking on his children, and caring for grandchildren. While it is common to narrow one’s circle to already familiar faces, Dr.PK actively seeks a diverse network. He continues to mentor students who are interested in his line of work and is always willing to take on more mentees. By engaging with the younger generation outside that of his own family, he has kept himself open to new ideas and fresh perspectives. In old age, one’s social relationships can come to be defined by location due to an inability or disinterest in long-distance travel. However, Dr.PK’s nearly yearly travels to India and occasional travels to exotic locations around the world opens him up to a variety of social interaction and a diverse network of acquaintances.

The most surprising thing I learned about Dr.PK was that despite his experience of discrimination in the workplace, he is of the opinion that the family “[has] not felt any discrimination.” From what I know of him, he probably views the experience of his firing as an isolated event and refuses to let it color his overall perspective of the country he lives in. In this manner, he takes every opportunity to see the good in everything that comes his way. It is his unflinching optimism, his belief that one shouldn’t “whine” and should “accept things as they are” that constantly astounded and inspired me. This sense of optimism is what pushes him away from disengagement and towards an towards an active aging mindset. His later life has been marked by growth, community, and continuity: characteristics of successful aging. Dr.PK has an outlook to life that will continue to inspire me and all those who surround him, and knowing him, his list of accomplishments, talents, and experiences is far from over.